An Extraterrestrial Lives In My House (Transcript)

Erwin *yawn* Morning, dad. What's the news today? Yeeargh!

Jamie Hi Erwin.

Erwin Since when to you read the newspaper?

Jamie Ever since I ended up on the front page!

Erwin (Reading) An extraterrestrial lives in my house? Ugh!

Jamie I have to wear this silly human disguise that itches like crazy, and you go and squeal on me to the newspaper? *growls*

Erwin But - I didn't say anything! I swear! They can't be talking about you. It's not possible. No, it must be a coincidence. Or just a hoax.

Jamie Oh, really? Just a hoax?

Erwin Hahahahahaha! Of course! It's just a bunch of balony. Journalists will come up with just about anything to sell more newspapers these days.

Jamie On my planet, the newspapers always tell the truth. My father the king personally sees to it. He writes everything himself.

Erwin An extraterrestrial lives in my house. Who would believe such a thing? It's completely ridiculous! Ahaha, hahaha, ahahaha, ahahahahahahaha, ahahahahahaha, haha ahaha, aha, ahahaha, ha, haha, ha!

Jamie But what if it was true?

(Title card plays)

Eye-Contact Sargeant, Jamie is on the front page of the newspaper! If he becomes famous, he might have to hire bodyguards!

Gratchett Well, we already can't capture him when he's all by himself!

Eye-Contact Hmmm. We need a plan.

Gratchett Can I borrow it to read the comic strips?

Eye-Contact Here.

Gratchett You don't have to push it in my face like that.

Erwin Watch out for a killer serve!

Jamie Okay, so that article isn't about me. But maybe, it's about another extraterrestrial. Another child from outer space was also found refuge on Planet Earth! I would so love to meet someone like myself.

Erwin Ugh! Ooh! Ouch! Forget about it and concentrate on our match! And you better watch out, 'cause I'm not even giving it my all yet!

Jamie *sigh* Yeah, you're probably right.

Erwin Aaah! Oof. I'll go get it. But keep warmed up!

Pralene What a shame you don't get to meet a fellow extraterrestrial.

Jamie If you're talking about the newspaper, that's alright. It's all made up. Your brother told me so.

Pralene You are so naive, Jamie. Come on. I guess helping Erwin improve his ping-pong game must be soo much more important to you than meeting another kid like yourself from outer space.

Jamie Hmm.

Eye-Contact You call that journalism? And have you thought of the children? There are those that read the newspaper too, you know. They have the right to read something other than your idiotic stories about so-called extraterrestrials.

(This transcript is not complete)